Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Oh do you know the Muffin Man? I sure do.

I never had an amazing body in my opinion but there was a time when I looked decent in a bikini and good in most clothes. There were even some things I liked for example my boobs. They were a nice size, not too big not to small....now I would describe them as large sacks of jello that hang down to my belly button. I can deal with them though, with a good bra on you can't tell so I don't lose sleep over them.

When I was pregnant with Stella I gained 500lbs. I think I was depressed because my body was growing and changing so I figured the best idea would be to eat a M&M blizzard everyday. NOT SMART!!! After I had Stella and lost the weight my skin has never quite gone back to where it is supposed to be. Now having this extra skin causes a problem when I wear any type of pants. My solutions has been to buy bigger pants so that the waist doesn't squeeze the skin over the top of my pants creating a huge muffin top that could feed a large kindergarten class. However my husband AND apparently the sales girls at the Limited beg to differ on this theory. Dan says "You look like you have poop in your pants. You're pants are too big, maybe you need to go somewhere where they can teach you how to dress for your body type." The girls at the Limited must have also gotten this memo.

I want shopping on Mother's day for some new pants. I put on this cute pair of black capris and when the waist was creating a muffin top with my extra skin I exited the dressing room to ask the sales girl for a different/bigger size. "You don't need a bigger size" she said. "Don't you see my muffin top?" I replied. "Those are the right size, they will stretch." was her response. I never believe this "they will stretch" business. If they don't fit me when I buy them, they aren't going to fit me in two days. She got me the other side since they pride themselves in excellent customer service and I tried them on. This time there was no muffin top, but there was a lot of saggy butt material going on. I left my stall once again and said to the sales girl "don't these look better? No muffin top." "No" she said, "they are too big." So I bought the smaller size and am super excited to put them on again and watch people scream in horror when they see my lovely lady lumps. But at least I won't look like I have poop in my pants.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day!


Today is the 2nd mother's day that I have been able to celebrate with my sweet girl. I love holidays and especially ones where I get gifts. Mother's Day is creeping up on the list of my favorites because it is my day and I can use it for an excuse for anything, i.e. Dan asked me to clean my car out today, my reply "umm....no, it's Mother's Day." He didn't argue.

My morning started out very nice, Dan went to McDonald's to get me an iced coffee and also brought home some flowers. When Stella woke up she presented me with the adorable gift she made for me at school which is a plate that says "Happy Mother's Day" and then has her hand prints on it with glitter paint. I will cherish it forever but at the same time I had to laugh because her hand prints basically make it look like she has 3 fingers on one hand, and an abnormally large middle finger on the other. I mean I'm sure she was totally cooperating and that's why it turned out that way. (sarcasm) When I said to Dan "her hands look like funny blobs he said "I thought it was her feet" and he was serious. My second gift was a card from Stella where you can record a message. You push a button and it says "record a message after the beep" Dan wanted her to say "I love you mama" instead I opened the card up and heard her yell "BEEEEP." The third great present which was not planned happend when I went to get ready for church this morning. As I am in the shower I was lucky to realized we had absolutely no hot water. And it is not even like the water was room temperature, nope it was ice cold. I would have skipped the shower except that I hadn't washed my hair since Friday and it was starting to take on a life of its own. The water was so cold that I was literally gasping from the shock of it. We ended up running into church 10 minutes late, throwing Stella at the child care workers and praying that the offering wasn't at the beginning of church since we were both ushering... I think we might get kicked out as ushers pretty soon.

Other super exciting things that happened today...Stella didn't take a nap, Louie tried to kill the neighbor's puppy but instead in the heat of the moment ripped out one of this nails that then blead all over my kitchen floor. And our neighbor kid asked us for money for the twelfth time this week so he can go on a field trip to cooper's town.

All in all it was an amazing day filled with lots of love and laughs. I am so thankful for my little family and all the crazy things life brings each day. God is so good!