Oh do you know the Muffin Man? I sure do.

I never had an amazing body in my opinion but there was a time when I looked decent in a bikini and good in most clothes. There were even some things I liked for example my boobs. They were a nice size, not too big not to small....now I would describe them as large sacks of jello that hang down to my belly button. I can deal with them though, with a good bra on you can't tell so I don't lose sleep over them.

When I was pregnant with Stella I gained 500lbs. I think I was depressed because my body was growing and changing so I figured the best idea would be to eat a M&M blizzard everyday. NOT SMART!!! After I had Stella and lost the weight my skin has never quite gone back to where it is supposed to be. Now having this extra skin causes a problem when I wear any type of pants. My solutions has been to buy bigger pants so that the waist doesn't squeeze the skin over the top of my pants creating a huge muffin top that could feed a large kindergarten class. However my husband AND apparently the sales girls at the Limited beg to differ on this theory. Dan says "You look like you have poop in your pants. You're pants are too big, maybe you need to go somewhere where they can teach you how to dress for your body type." The girls at the Limited must have also gotten this memo.

I want shopping on Mother's day for some new pants. I put on this cute pair of black capris and when the waist was creating a muffin top with my extra skin I exited the dressing room to ask the sales girl for a different/bigger size. "You don't need a bigger size" she said. "Don't you see my muffin top?" I replied. "Those are the right size, they will stretch." was her response. I never believe this "they will stretch" business. If they don't fit me when I buy them, they aren't going to fit me in two days. She got me the other side since they pride themselves in excellent customer service and I tried them on. This time there was no muffin top, but there was a lot of saggy butt material going on. I left my stall once again and said to the sales girl "don't these look better? No muffin top." "No" she said, "they are too big." So I bought the smaller size and am super excited to put them on again and watch people scream in horror when they see my lovely lady lumps. But at least I won't look like I have poop in my pants.