Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Back to the beginning

I have been reading the book “Sun Stand Still” and while I was reading today it was talking about how often times we want to hear God yell when he wants us to do something or go somewhere but often times He doesn’t, He will whisper…that’s how it begins.

So I want to go back to the beginning and tell you how my journey that I am currently on began. It began in October of 2010 at the women’s conference for our church. It was an amazing time with amazing speakers, so motivating and uplifting. The speaker was talking about believing, believing that God will do what He promises. It was all very good and moving but none of it hit home how messages normally do. On the second day our senior pastor’s wife, who by the way is one of my favorite people on the face of this earth Ms. Tammy got up to speak about what God had put on her heart. She shared through tearful eyes this amazing story how God had put human trafficking on her heart and how He had put Noel (who I also love insanely much) in place at the perfect time in our church because she in fact has one of the largest hearts for missions, human trafficking and had lived in India. Tammy shared what the trip was going to be, a year from then, she and Noel wanted to take a group of women to go and love on and minister to these young girls and women. She said how it was not a trip for the weak and that you would be interviewed and they would be hand selecting who would go. I sobbed. I also knew there was no way I could go, no way that I would be strong enough. They took a break and there was a sign up sheet where women who were interested in going could write their name down, there was a line a mile long with women just ready to go, I think they would have left that day if they could. I however did not stand in that line, I had no intentions to. I went to the ladies room. When I came back I didn’t even look at that sheet, I told Noel “this is so awesome but there is no way I could ever do that, I am not strong enough.” Noel was sweet and didn’t say much. Now I look back at that day at that announcement and know the reason I went up to her and said that. It was because God had already planted the seed for me to go, He had whispered so quietly because that day I wasn’t ready to hear it, He would continue to work on me for the next 3 months before He would speak loud enough for me to hear, and tell me that I was going to go.

To be continued…..

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