Monday, June 13, 2011
My New Journey
Being a wife and mom is one of the greatest gifts in life and although I love my family and am happy being a wife and mom about 6 months ago I found myself in a weird place in life. If you are a wife and/or mom maybe you have found yourself here before. I found myself wondering what my passion was, what my purpose in life is. I was really wrestling with it, although I know my current role is important, sometimes it is not a fulfilling role. Coincidentally (or not really a conscience as it turns out) our pastor spoke a message about "Living the Dream" and how everyone has a dream. During the message I turned to my husband and said "I don't have a dream." Now this was where God stepped in and said "Reallllyy...you don't have a dream, well I will give you one." So began this journey that I am now in the thick of.
God has given me a dream and it is something much larger than myself, it's something that I would have never imagined in a million years that I would be doing. This October I will be traveling to India with 8 other AMAZING women to work with teenage girls and women who have been sold into sex slavery or human trafficking. This trip is so much larger than me and I pray every day that God gives me strength, that He strengthens my heart and my eyes for what I will see. We will be working with these girls to help them create a way to "buy" themselves out of prostitution. This will be a lifelong mission because as soon as we can get one out, they will bring a new girl in.
What amazes me the most in this whole process is how God has spoken so clearly to me, how He has told me and reassured me that I am meant to go on this trip. I always thought that when I would go on a missions trip, IF I would ever go on a missions trip it would have to do with orphans, or little kids. I would have never thought that I would be going to love on such broken women and girls. But God is funny, He doesn't care what you thought, He will stretch you and take you places you never thought.
He has used my 4 year old daughter to speak to me so many times it is starting to get freaky. The first instance was when we were sitting in our living room watching t.v. I had just learned of the trip and hadn't talked about it at all in front of her. Out of nowhere she said "mommy for my birthday I want to wear a red dress" "Ok" I said. "I want to wear a red dress from India." A little out of nowhere I thought, and maybe a sign. Well God heard my doubt so about a week or two later I was putting away a necklace when she said "Momma was that necklace made in India?" "Why would you ask that hunny?" I said. "Because the people in India, they come up to me and they ask me if I want to buy their jewelry." Now if this was not God shouting directly into my face, I don't know what was. I was brought to tears at how God would use my sweet baby to speak to me. There have been other random things like one day we were in the Gap and she wrapped a scarf around her head and said "Mommy look this is my saree." Or another day randomly saying "mommy you know I can speak Indian." And again keep in mind I had barely talked about this trip in front of her at this point.
This trip has already changed me, already rocked me to my core. When God tells you to do something and you step out in faith He changes you. I am a completely different person than I was 6 months ago, I went from not knowing my purpose and not having a specific passion to being so excited I can't sleep at night. I wake up with a joy and is unexplainable. I went from just existing to a women on fire with a mission.